Warning, there may be some harsh truths ahead…
Besides rain on your wedding day, being labelled a bridezilla behind your back is definitely on the worst-things-to-happen list of every bride.
Yes, wedding planning can be stressful and tensions run high and it feels like no one can make your visions come to life. BUT with a bit of patience and forward planning you can breeze through with no drama and tears and maybe even have a few family members left when it’s all over 😉
Keep Your Bridal Party Happy
Have realistic expectations of your bridal party – They will do their best to create an amazing day and plan pre-events for you but take in to account that they still have adult responsibilities and obligations that may take first place.
Plan & Communicate – Make sure that each member knows what you will require from them far in advance, as well as dates they need to keep open and their duties and responsibilities on the day. It is not your bridesmaids jobs to drop everything and help you fetch/pick up/set up elements that you may have forgotten or did not plan correctly, or suddenly perform duties that they were unaware of.
They are not made of money – Your bridal party will already be spending A LOT of cash on your big day in travel costs and possibly bachelorettes and kitchen teas. If you require them to buy expensive dresses and shoes and pay for their hair and make-up make sure you warn them well in advance. Only ask of them what you would be willing to do for their big day, and be open and honest and ready to accept if someone cannot afford what you are asking of them.
Have fun & be understanding – They are your closest friends and family members and are there to have a good time with you. Try to keep the bossy-ness and demands at a minimum on the day to make sure everyone is smiling and happy, and take in to consideration each persons thoughts and ideas as well as their body shapes. At the end of the day they all just want the best for you.
Thank them – They have given up a lot to make your vision a reality and have stood by your side through the whole process and they have done everything because you are important to them so make sure to make them feel special after everything is over, or give them a little token of appreciation on the morning of the wedding.
Keep The Families Happy
Budget properly – If you or your partners family is paying for the wedding make sure to budget correctly right from the beginning so they do not get surprised with any hidden costs further down the line. They will want to provide you with anything and everything you want to make your big day perfect, but be conscious of what they can actually afford.
Your Parents – Most parents want to be involved in their little girls big day so try and include them in as much as possible. Maybe even take your mom to the cake tasting,dress fittings and make-up trials and make a girls day out of it!
Don’t let your parents or family bully you in to anything – As hard as it may be, listen to all their requests and if needed gently inform them that you will take their ideas in to consideration but will ultimately do what is best for you and your partner, even if that means saving money by not inviting mean old aunt Gertrude. BUT BE NICE!
The in-laws – If you happen to have difficult in-laws who are controlling or have a tendency to be a bit negative, sit down and discuss it with your partner. They should be able to sit down with their parents and talk it out. Once again do not let yourself be bullied in to doing or wearing something you are not happy with but at the same time stay respectable and be honest and upfront about everything right from the start so there are no fights or breakdowns on the big day.
Keep The Suppliers Happy
You are not their only client – Most suppliers love what they do and will do anything within reason to create the best day for you, but remember that at any given time they are juggling multiple weddings and brides and will not jeopardize other clients time and money to accommodate your every change and idea. Your wedding is no more important to them than any other paying client.
Have realistic time frames – Once again plan well in advance and be upfront about what you would like from a supplier, giving them more information than they need and leaving out no detail, no matter how small. A supplier cannot be expected to create something for you last minute because you did not do your research, give the correct information or plan in advance.
Treat them kindly – Rudeness will get you nowhere and probably create even more stress for you as the supplier will then be even less willing to help you. They are professionals in their fields as well as human-beings and will be more than willing to accommodate you if you show some friendliness and kindness from the start. They may even be willing to go above and beyond for a few kind words…
Do your research & be clear about your vision/idea – Find a supplier whose portfolio suits your style and needs. Do not go to someone and ask them to recreate someone elses work or to change their whole style for your needs. If you have done your research and know what to expect and have given them as much information as possible or have been extremely clear about your idea then it’s time to trust them to create something amazing for you, they are professionals and can be trusted.
You get what you pay for – Yes, weddings are expensive. Never tell a supplier you can get it cheaper elsewhere, they have set that price for a reason and probably will not bring it down as they have business expenses to cover and need to make a living. Do your research and find someone whose style you like and can afford. 90% of the time if it is cheap it will look cheap, especially when it comes to photography, food and flowers.
But most importantly keep yourself happy!
Don’t stress yourself out trying to plan a perfect wedding, most of your guests are there for the party and to spend time with you and your partner so make it less about yourself and more about the experience. You are not the first bride to have a wedding and will not be the last bride either so don’t take it all so seriously.
At the end of the day if you are married to your partner and go to sleep smiling, that counts as a perfect day in my books!
By Chelsea Patterson, Owner & Designer – My Big Event