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THE WEDDING DAY
Saturday | 4pm
27 January 2024
Montpellier de Tulbagh

Bar Policy: Open Bar until 11pm

Dress Code: Smart Casual.
The venue is exclusively outside. So, ladies & gents, please leave those stilettos at home! Block heels, wedges or flats are highly recommended. Bold colours are encouraged.

PIZZA & BEER
Friday | 5pm
26 January 2024
Montpellier de Tulbagh

RECOVERY BREAKFAST
Sunday | 9.30am
28 January 2024
Montpellier de Tulbagh

Although we adore your children, we would like our special day to be an adult-only occasion. We politely request no kiddos.

THE WEDDING DAY
Saturday | 4pm
27 January 2024
Montpellier de Tulbagh

Bar Policy: Open Bar until 11pm

Dress Code: Smart Casual.
The venue is exclusively outside. So, ladies & gents, please leave those stilettos at home! Block heels, wedges or flats are highly recommended. Bold colours are encouraged.

PIZZA & BEER
Friday | 5pm
26 January 2024
Montpellier de Tulbagh

RECOVERY BREAKFAST
Sunday | 9.30am
28 January 2024
Montpellier de Tulbagh

Although we adore your children, we would like our special day to be an adult-only occasion. We politely request no kiddos.

MORE ABOUT ME

At the age of 12, Dani Hayman was radically capable, endlessly charming, and sometimes a little bitchy but in a fun way. She’s like Barbie in that sense — not the outdated blonde stereotype peddled at impressionable children but a versatile companion adored by her mortal peers. Despite her recent move to Australia, there is still a lot to admire about Dani. For example, she doesn’t cook or clean and it’s unclear if she even likes her husband. Melissa is taking notes. (Apologies for the anachronistic humour. Sometimes you gotta play to the boomers, ya know?)

MORE ABOUT ME

The best friendships, like the best love stories, so often have remarkable origins. You know the classic meet cute, a serendipitous encounter which blossoms into something beautiful? Melissa and Melissa became friends because…Melissas?

MORE ABOUT ME

Before Jess was the stylin’, profilin’,  hustlin’, woman that she is today, she was a surly little emo with her earphones in 24/7. Technically speaking, she had one earphone in. The other was embedded firmly in the ear of Liss Hamilton. And together they scowled, undermined, and ignored those happy teenagers who wasted their days on social frivolities. Currently, Jess is almost too famous to attend this low profile occasion and we cannot be held liable if she does not make an appearance.

MORE ABOUT ME

Because nepotism goes a long way, Lesley has found herself in a headlining role. This is the definitive accomplishment of her otherwise banal life. No one cares about your immense professional success, Lesley! Shortly after the ceremony, she will likely be growing roots at the bar. Because she is her father’s daughter.

MORE ABOUT ME

Catherine Sarah Imogen Rudolph has a name as long and unnecessary as she is. Having met Nigel back in 2014, when she showed up uninvited to his party, Cat has become a fixture in his life. The way a barnacle fixes itself to the hull of a ship. Mindful that standing beside her would make him appear short, expect to spot Catherine at the end of the queue of groomsmen (groomspeople?). Do not ask her about her thesis, it is not interesting.

MORE ABOUT ME

There are many things one might say about Yogi but such language would be in poor taste. Nigel and Yogesh became acquainted in the 9th grade, when the latter abandoned the former at a cricket match. That being said, Yogi’s loyalty has always been beyond reproach. After all, he supported Liverpool through the days of Paul Konchesky and Jonjo Shelvey in midfield. Eventually, his perseverance against such hopeless failings paid off. Thus far, his assiduous faith in his best friend has yet to yield similar results.

MORE ABOUT ME

Tashlin and Nigel have been friends since short pants and birthdays at McDonald’s. Back at Saturn Pre Primary, Tashlin was extremely confident in his karate skills, often boasting, at length, how the ‘The Karate Kid’ was based on his life. He did not do karate. Soon he will exchange his imaginary black belt for a black suit. Our Tash is getting married in September…and we can confirm his bride-to-be is no figment.

MORE ABOUT ME

is Serbian. 

MORE ABOUT ME

At the age of 12, Dani Hayman was radically capable, endlessly charming, and sometimes a little bitchy but in a fun way. She’s like Barbie in that sense — not the outdated blonde stereotype peddled at impressionable children but a versatile companion adored by her mortal peers. Despite her recent move to Australia, there is still a lot to admire about Dani. For example, she doesn’t cook or clean and it’s unclear if she even likes her husband. Melissa is taking notes. (Apologies for the anachronistic humour. Sometimes you gotta play to the boomers, ya know?)

MORE ABOUT ME

The best friendships, like the best love stories, so often have remarkable origins. You know the classic meet cute, a serendipitous encounter which blossoms into something beautiful? Melissa and Melissa became friends because…Melissas?

MORE ABOUT ME

Before Jess was the stylin’, profilin’,  hustlin’, woman that she is today, she was a surly little emo with her earphones in 24/7. Technically speaking, she had one earphone in. The other was embedded firmly in the ear of Liss Hamilton. And together they scowled, undermined, and ignored those happy teenagers who wasted their days on social frivolities. Currently, Jess is almost too famous to attend this low profile occasion and we cannot be held liable if she does not make an appearance.

MORE ABOUT ME

Because nepotism goes a long way, Lesley has found herself in a headlining role. This is the definitive accomplishment of her otherwise banal life. No one cares about your immense professional success, Lesley! Shortly after the ceremony, she will likely be growing roots at the bar. Because she is her father’s daughter.

MORE ABOUT ME

Catherine Sarah Imogen Rudolph has a name as long and unnecessary as she is. Having met Nigel back in 2014, when she showed up uninvited to his party, Cat has become a fixture in his life. The way a barnacle fixes itself to the hull of a ship. Mindful that standing beside her would make him appear short, expect to spot Catherine at the end of the queue of groomsmen (groomspeople?). Do not ask her about her thesis, it is not interesting.

MORE ABOUT ME

There are many things one might say about Yogi but such language would be in poor taste. Nigel and Yogesh became acquainted in the 9th grade, when the latter abandoned the former at a cricket match. That being said, Yogi’s loyalty has always been beyond reproach. After all, he supported Liverpool through the days of Paul Konchesky and Jonjo Shelvey in midfield. Eventually, his perseverance against such hopeless failings paid off. Thus far, his assiduous faith in his best friend has yet to yield similar results.

MORE ABOUT ME

Tashlin and Nigel have been friends since short pants and birthdays at McDonald’s. Back at Saturn Pre Primary, Tashlin was extremely confident in his karate skills, often boasting, at length, how the ‘The Karate Kid’ was based on his life. He did not do karate. Soon he will exchange his imaginary black belt for a black suit. Our Tash is getting married in September…and we can confirm his bride-to-be is no figment.

MORE ABOUT ME

is Serbian. 

The Crocodile and The Plover
a painfully transparent tale that everyone saw coming

A surly beast, though he did smile, here is the story of our crocodile. He did not savour or delight, he devoured in a single bite. He also hated rhymes, and he still does.

This croc was a droll fellow, cynical to the bone. He wandered aimlessly, he wondered “why?” though did not care to find answers. Garrulous one minute, taciturn in a blink, he made for maddening company and so the company he kept was mad. He’s also devastatingly handsome. That’s not relevant to the plot but he feels it is important you know this all the same. Let’s call him…Nigel.
Nigel dragged himself through his days, weary though he did little. He didn’t believe in anything and so wanted nothing. Content to be content.

And then, in Ancient Egypt, he saw The Plover. While she could chatter, and sing, and swoop, and dance as well as any other, this bird did not care for mimicry or showmanship. Shy, stubborn, utterly fearless; capable of bearing immense weight upon little wings. I suppose we can call her…I dunno…Melissa. She didn’t believe in much either, but she felt, even if she could not understand it…she felt. Here was a lovely creature who didn’t want to be loved so much as she wanted to love. And nothing could be more infuriating to a cold-blooded crocodile. Nigel was besotted.

Unfortunately, though she listened and laughed and liked, she did not take a shining to the glib reptile beyond the platonic. She was immune to his snarky snarling chivalry. Brave as she was, any plover who trusts too willingly is likely to get bitten. And he was too scared to open up fully and let her get in behind those teeth. That was that for years…until she flew off to London.

It wasn’t no toothache Nigel felt then. The weight of her absence became unbearable. He realised he’d lost something germane to his survival. Because living without loving was empty and doomed. And Melissa…oh, boy, did she hanker! See she was easy to love, but no one had ever made her love herself the way he had.
And so The Crocodile and The Plover started a long-distance…okay the pretext has worn thin, you folks know us and you know our story. Melissa proposed to Nigel in 2022 but this happily ever after has been a decade in the making.
This is the day we didn’t know we wanted until we felt it. Love is always earned, and we’ve earned it. And we cannot wait to share it with our friends, families, and…the rest of you animals.

Until then – in a while, crocodile!

The Crocodile and The Plover
a painfully transparent tale that everyone saw coming

A surly beast, though he did smile, here is the story of our crocodile. He did not savour or delight, he devoured in a single bite. He also hated rhymes, and he still does.

This croc was a droll fellow, cynical to the bone. He wandered aimlessly, he wondered “why?” though did not care to find answers. Garrulous one minute, taciturn in a blink, he made for maddening company and so the company he kept was mad. He’s also devastatingly handsome. That’s not relevant to the plot but he feels it is important you know this all the same. Let’s call him…Nigel.
Nigel dragged himself through his days, weary though he did little. He didn’t believe in anything and so wanted nothing. Content to be content.

And then, in Ancient Egypt, he saw The Plover. While she could chatter, and sing, and swoop, and dance as well as any other, this bird did not care for mimicry or showmanship. Shy, stubborn, utterly fearless; capable of bearing immense weight upon little wings. I suppose we can call her…I dunno…Melissa. She didn’t believe in much either, but she felt, even if she could not understand it…she felt. Here was a lovely creature who didn’t want to be loved so much as she wanted to love. And nothing could be more infuriating to a cold-blooded crocodile. Nigel was besotted.

Unfortunately, though she listened and laughed and liked, she did not take a shining to the glib reptile beyond the platonic. She was immune to his snarky snarling chivalry. Brave as she was, any plover who trusts too willingly is likely to get bitten. And he was too scared to open up fully and let her get in behind those teeth. That was that for years…until she flew off to London.

It wasn’t no toothache Nigel felt then. The weight of her absence became unbearable. He realised he’d lost something germane to his survival. Because living without loving was empty and doomed. And Melissa…oh, boy, did she hanker! See she was easy to love, but no one had ever made her love herself the way he had.
And so The Crocodile and The Plover started a long-distance…okay the pretext has worn thin, you folks know us and you know our story. Melissa proposed to Nigel in 2022 but this happily ever after has been a decade in the making.
This is the day we didn’t know we wanted until we felt it. Love is always earned, and we’ve earned it. And we cannot wait to share it with our friends, families, and…the rest of you animals.

Until then – in a while, crocodile!

Please see below some options of places to stay
close to our wedding venue.

“Your presence is our present…” is what a more gracious couple might say. Just kidding. We’re pretty gracious.

We understand that this is ostensibly a destination wedding, and we are simply grateful that you’ve made the effort to attend.
No gifts are required. So don’t go buying blenders, egyptian cotton sheets, or silver spoons.

That being said, if you’re feeling magnanimous, or just crippled by the societal pressure to gift, you may donate to our honeymoon fund. See, gracious!

Please see below some options of places to stay close to our wedding venue.

“Your presence is our present…” is what a more gracious couple might say. Just kidding. We’re pretty gracious. We understand that this is ostensibly a destination wedding, and we are simply grateful that you’ve made the effort to attend. No gifts are required. So don’t go buying blenders, egyptian cotton sheets, or silver spoons. That being said, if you’re feeling magnanimous, or just crippled by the societal pressure to gift, you may donate to our honeymoon fund. See, gracious!

Please RSVP by the 3oth of September.

Please RSVP by the 30th of September.